Over the years, I’ve been accused of many things—being too traditional, being too modern, even being secretly a man. But the accusation that cuts the deepest is that I “hate women.” Let me be clear: I do not hate women. As a woman myself, I’ve dedicated my career to understanding and helping both genders navigate the complexities of relationships. My work is not about taking sides; it’s about finding balance. And balance is something we’re sorely lacking today.
We’ve made incredible strides in addressing the inequalities women faced for centuries. From voting rights to career opportunities, women have fought hard for their place in the world, and rightly so. But in the process, we’ve created a cultural blind spot: the struggles men are now facing. Instead of leveling the playing field, we’ve tilted it in the opposite direction, leaving many men feeling unheard, unsupported, and disillusioned.
The Disappearing Marriage Market
One of the starkest signs of this imbalance is the decline in marriage rates. Fewer men are choosing to marry, and for good reason. Men today face significant disadvantages in divorce. In many cases, they lose custody of their children, bear the brunt of financial settlements, and walk away feeling not just heartbroken, but also robbed of their identity. Studies published in the Journal of Marriage and Family show that divorced men are more likely than women to experience depression, loneliness, and even a decline in physical health.
It’s no wonder, then, that many men are opting out of marriage altogether. Why take the risk when the stakes are so high? This trend isn’t just a personal choice—it’s a societal shift with far-reaching consequences. Marriage has long been a cornerstone of stable communities, and as fewer men choose to participate, we’re seeing a ripple effect that impacts everything from birth rates to social cohesion.
The Rise of “Alternative Lives” for Men
For those who avoid marriage, the alternatives are not always healthy. Increasingly, men are finding refuge in video games, sports, and pornography—escapes that offer immediate gratification without the risks or challenges of real-world relationships. These outlets aren’t inherently bad, but when they become substitutes for genuine connection, they raise serious concerns.
A 2021 report from the American Psychological Association found that men who spend excessive time on gaming and porn often experience higher levels of isolation, lower self-esteem, and difficulty forming meaningful relationships. Sports, while more socially acceptable, can still become an obsession that distracts from deeper emotional needs. These activities provide a sense of control and accomplishment, but they don’t address the underlying issue: a growing disconnection from society and intimate relationships.
The Silent Epidemic of Male Mental Health
We’re facing a silent epidemic of male mental health. Rates of depression, anxiety, and suicide among men are climbing, and it’s not hard to see why. Men are navigating a world where their traditional roles have been dismantled, but no clear alternatives have been offered. They’re told to be vulnerable, but mocked when they show weakness. They’re encouraged to succeed, but criticized when they display ambition. And when they seek help or voice their struggles, they’re often dismissed as whiners or told to “man up.”
It’s a cultural double bind that leaves men feeling trapped. And while society may not be ready to discuss it openly, the consequences are becoming impossible to ignore. The decline in male participation in marriage, the rise of unhealthy coping mechanisms, and the growing mental health crisis among men are all signs that something is deeply wrong.
This Isn’t About Hating Women—it’s About Saving Society
Critics accuse me of hating women when I bring up these issues, but nothing could be further from the truth. This isn’t about tearing women down—it’s about building everyone up. Women have fought for, and deserve, equality, respect, and opportunity. But equality doesn’t mean ignoring the struggles of men. It means creating a world where both genders feel supported, valued, and understood.
The current imbalance is unsustainable. When men withdraw from relationships, when they retreat into isolation, it doesn’t just hurt them—it hurts all of us. Children grow up without fathers, communities lose mentors and leaders, and women find themselves unable to build lasting partnerships. Society as a whole suffers when half of its population feels excluded and alienated.
A Call for Empathy and Action
It’s time for a cultural reckoning. We need to address the challenges men face with the same urgency and compassion we’ve shown for women’s issues. This means rethinking the way we approach marriage, divorce, and gender roles. It means offering men the tools and support they need to navigate modern life, without shaming them for their struggles or dismissing their concerns.
We don’t have to choose between supporting women and supporting men. We can—and must—do both. Because a world where both genders thrive isn’t just fair—it’s essential for the survival of relationships, families, and communities.
Let’s stop pointing fingers and start finding solutions. Let’s move past the accusations and work toward a future where men and women can stand side by side, not in competition, but in partnership. That’s not just a dream—it’s a necessity.