Not long ago, I had the opportunity to sit down with a local cleric. It wasn’t planned—I met him by chance at a community event where we both found ourselves in the back corner, looking slightly out of place. He, with his traditional robes and serene smile, and me, with my notebook full of half-baked article ideas, trying to blend in. We started talking, and before I knew it, we were deep in a discussion about love, commitment, and the surprising similarities between the work I do as a marriage therapist and the spiritual guidance he provides.
It was a meeting of two worlds I never expected to intersect so clearly. He spoke about the importance of faith and the role of the Holy Trinity—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—as a guiding principle for many couples who come to him seeking solace and direction. I found myself nodding along, realizing how similar his approach was to the concept of Transactional Analysis, a therapy model I use frequently in my sessions. In transactional therapy, we often talk about the three states of being: Parent, Adult, and Child. It struck me how both frameworks aim to foster balance, connection, and harmony within relationships, even if they come from different origins.
Faith, Therapy, and the Quest for Connection
The cleric shared stories of couples who had come to him in crisis, looking for spiritual guidance when their love felt lost. He explained that his role wasn’t to solve their problems, but to help them reconnect with their faith, to remind them of the vows they made and the sacred bond they share. It was about offering them a sense of hope, a belief that with the right foundation, they could find their way back to each other.
I realized then how similar our missions truly are. In therapy, I don’t promise to fix anyone’s marriage. I guide couples through their struggles, helping them uncover the patterns that have led them astray. It’s about creating a space for honesty and vulnerability, much like the safe haven of a church or temple. We’re both helping people find their way back to something greater than themselves—whether it’s love, faith, or the profound connection that can exist between two souls.
The cleric mentioned how the Holy Trinity represents a divine unity, a perfect balance of different aspects working together harmoniously. In Transactional Analysis, the balance between the Parent (nurturing and guiding), the Adult (rational and present), and the Child (playful and emotional) creates a similar harmony. It’s about understanding each part of ourselves and how it interacts with our partner’s parts. When this balance is disrupted, whether in faith or in therapy, we lose our way. But when we nurture these aspects, we find peace.
Shared Mission, Different Language
As our conversation continued, we found more and more common ground. He spoke about the importance of forgiveness in his teachings, how letting go of resentment is a key part of spiritual healing. I nodded, thinking of the many couples I’ve worked with who struggle to move past old wounds. Whether you’re sitting in a pew or on a therapist’s couch, the act of forgiving isn’t about forgetting—it’s about releasing the hold that past hurts have on your present.
The cleric and I laughed at how different our methods seem on the surface—his sermons versus my sessions, his prayers versus my probing questions. But at the core, we’re both trying to lead people toward healing and wholeness. We both believe in the power of connection, in the idea that love can be a guiding force, even when it feels like everything is falling apart.
A Shared Hope for Healing
As we parted ways, he left me with a simple blessing: “May you continue to help people find their way, no matter what path they take.” It was a humble reminder that whether we’re turning to faith, therapy, or both, the goal is the same: to help people find peace, love, and a sense of purpose.
I’ve thought about that conversation often since then. It reminded me that there are many roads to healing, and sometimes the road less traveled is the one that brings the most comfort. So whether you find solace in the sacred, the scientific, or a blend of both, know that the journey is valid and worth taking. In the end, we’re all just trying to find our way back to love—back to a place where we feel whole. And that’s a mission I can believe in, no matter where it comes from.