Let’s face it: these days, it seems like men are getting… well, a bit softer. Gone are the rugged, stoic Marlboro Man types who could fix a car with duct tape and sheer determination. Instead, we’re finding more men who can tell you the difference between “eggshell” and “alabaster” white and have a favorite scented candle (it’s probably “Midnight Forest” or something equally poetic).
But what’s going on here? Are men losing their masculinity, or is this just the new normal? The answer might surprise you. The truth is, modern men are becoming more like women—and it’s not entirely their fault. In fact, society might be to blame, and it’s all a bit funnier and more complicated than you might think.
The Rise of the Sensitive Modern Man
Let’s start with the obvious: men today are more in touch with their emotions than ever before. If you rewind to the 1950s, the idea of a man going to therapy, openly discussing his feelings, or spending 30 minutes picking out the perfect throw pillows for the couch would have been laughable. But now? It’s practically a rite of passage.
Fictive Example: Meet Tom. Tom used to be the classic “strong, silent type.” But after binge-watching a season of Queer Eye during the pandemic, he’s a changed man. Now, he’s got a skincare routine that rivals his girlfriend’s and just bought his first potted fern (his name is Felix, and Tom talks to him daily). Tom’s not alone—men everywhere are embracing this softer side.
So why is this happening? And why do so many men seem to be taking on traditionally “feminine” traits like emotional vulnerability, self-care, and a love of avocado toast?
Blame It on the Times: How Society Is Shaping Men
- The Influence of Pop Culture: Look around—TV shows, movies, and social media are overflowing with sensitive, emotionally aware male role models. We’ve traded Clint Eastwood for Harry Styles, who’s just as likely to be seen in a flowy dress as he is strumming a guitar. If you’re a man growing up in a world where Jason Momoa is doing yoga and Ryan Reynolds is cracking jokes about parenting, it’s hard not to absorb a little of that energy.Example: In the 90s, you might have had a poster of Arnold Schwarzenegger on your wall for motivation. Today, men are more likely to look up to Timothée Chalamet, who’s known for his emotional depth and delicate cheekbones. Times have changed, and so have the ideals.
- Changing Gender Roles: For decades, women have been fighting for equality in the workplace, at home, and in relationships. And as women have become more assertive, ambitious, and independent, men have been encouraged (or gently nudged) to step back a bit. Now, instead of being expected to provide and protect, they’re learning to nurture, communicate, and co-parent.Fictive Example: Picture this: Dave used to spend his Saturdays fixing things around the house and grumbling about “kids these days.” Now, he’s attending a “Baby Sign Language” class with his toddler and trying to remember if their lunchbox should be BPA-free. Dave is basically the dad from a modern family sitcom, and he’s surprisingly good at it.
- The Rise of Wellness Culture: Self-care isn’t just for women anymore. Men are getting in on the action, and it’s a billion-dollar industry. There’s now beard oil for every occasion, meditation apps that promise inner peace, and yoga pants marketed as “athleisure for him.” It’s no wonder men are feeling more in tune with their inner feelings—they’re being encouraged to relax, breathe deeply, and exfoliate.Example: Remember when men used to bond over football games and barbecues? Now, you’re just as likely to find them bonding over matcha lattes and discussing their Enneagram types. It’s all part of the modern male experience.
It’s Not Their Fault: The Cultural Shifts at Play
Let’s be clear: men aren’t becoming more like women because they want to steal our skincare secrets (although, let’s be honest, some of them do). It’s because the entire landscape of what it means to be a man is shifting. Traditional masculinity has been under a microscope for years, and for good reason. The old “boys don’t cry” mentality didn’t do anyone any favors, leading to generations of emotionally stunted men.
Now, society is encouraging men to embrace qualities that were once labeled as “feminine”—empathy, vulnerability, and open communication. These are great qualities for anyone to have, regardless of gender. The problem is that while men are learning to embrace these softer traits, they’re often left feeling a bit adrift, unsure of where they fit in the new gender landscape.
Fictive Example: Greg used to be the guy who would never ask for directions, even if it meant getting lost for an hour. Now, he’s not only asking for directions, but he’s also asking his friends how they’re really doing, sharing his favorite affirmation podcast, and recommending his therapist. Greg has evolved, but he’s also a little confused—should he still hold the door open, or is that now considered patronizing?
Why It’s Not Such a Bad Thing (And Why We Should Cut Them Some Slack)
Sure, it’s easy to poke fun at men who are now using under-eye cream and texting their friends “just to check in,” but let’s be honest: isn’t it kind of nice? We spent decades wishing men would be more sensitive, more open, and more willing to share their feelings. Now that they are, we’re laughing about it. It’s a classic case of “be careful what you wish for.”
In her book Daring Greatly, Brené Brown talks about the power of vulnerability, and how being open about our feelings can lead to deeper connections and happier relationships. The same applies to men. By embracing qualities traditionally seen as feminine, modern men are opening themselves up to more meaningful relationships—not just with their partners, but with themselves.
Final Thoughts: Let’s Meet in the Middle
So, what’s the takeaway here? Modern men are becoming more like women in some ways, and it’s not necessarily a bad thing. It’s a reflection of the times we’re living in, where the rigid lines of gender roles are blurring, and everyone is encouraged to embrace their full range of emotions.
Rather than lamenting the loss of “real men,” maybe it’s time we embrace the evolution. After all, who wouldn’t want a partner who listens, communicates, and knows the importance of a good moisturizer?
So the next time your boyfriend suggests a couples’ face mask night or wants to talk about his “energy levels,” don’t roll your eyes—grab a jade roller and join in. Because at the end of the day, isn’t a sensitive man who can cry at a movie and also kill a spider in the bathroom exactly what we’ve been asking for all along?